Reconciliation: Proceed with Caution

man kneeling in front of woman
Photo by ramtin ak on

I am a believer in reconciliation and mending things that are broken. After enough disappointments and heartbreak in life, I have learned to be realistic. There have been a few times in my life when I have reconciled with someone and the second time when things became broken again was more painful than the first time. Right now, we are seven days away from Valentine’s Day. The temptation may creep up to bring people and habits back into our lives for one day. I would recommend all of us to proceed with caution when deciding to reconcile. We are going to take a moment to go a little deeper with reconciling with caution.

  1. Motive: Why are you reconciling? Is it because you believe there was a misunderstanding that can be fixed? Has time healed wounds? Is your reason emotional such as you being tired, sick, lonely or distraught? Whatever the reason, you need to weigh your reasons for reconciling and make sure your motives are pure.
  2. Timing: Are you looking at the fact that Valentine’s Day is around the corner or maybe you don’t want to attend a wedding alone? You need to make sure that timing is not influencing your decision to reconcile. You want to make sure that you take some time to make sure this is a great decision.
  3. Mutual Reconciliation: It takes two to reconcile. If you or the other party does not want reconcile, that decision needs to be respected. You cannot manipulate someone into a reconciliation.
  4. Breakup: Why did your breakup occur? Was it toxic? Was someone isolating someone else? You need to remember why your breakup occurred so that if you are reconciling, you do not repeat the same pattern again.
  5. Take things slow: You do not want to pickup from where you left off. You want to make sure that you proceed with caution. You want to slowly build a new chemistry and foundation. You do not want to proceed with your reconciliation as if nothing occurred.
  6. Enjoy: If you are reconciliation, enjoy the process. You do not need to speed it up but you do not want to be too cautious. You want the unfolding of this journey to be peaceful and fun one.
  7. Forgiveness: We need to remember that none of us are perfect. We want to make sure that when we interact with one another, we show mercy to one another. Forgiveness does not mean that we must forget and go back to the same level of our previous relationship. Forgiveness means that you are not holding someone to paying back something that cannot be paid back. The same way you expect someone to forgive you is how you should also extend forgiveness to others.

I want to encourage you to love deeply. Enjoy your life right now. You do not have to wait until you have made it to enjoy your life. You are here and still breathing. I am excited to see what 2020 will hold for all of us. Here is to living a great life.

Published by Ada Orie

I am a Nigerian-American Christian woman based in Baltimore who writes about Christianity, dating, food, friendships and more. My goal is to provide a free and safe place where people can express themselves while learning from one another. Thank you for checking out my blog. I look forward to learning from you.

2 thoughts on “Reconciliation: Proceed with Caution

  1. This is an excellent post Ada! I have experienced #3, dealing with a person who doesn’t want to take no for an answer is no fun. I agree it is disrespectful and also arrogant of them. Thanks for sharing this! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

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