Dating Untangled: Holiday Aftermath

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Happy 2019 to everyone! This article applies to anyone who is dating, exclusive or very single. You know I am a firm believer in dating yourself. You cannot give away what you do not have and I would recommend you go out to eat one time alone. It is insightful. So we survived the holidays and 2018. Now as we head into Valentine’s Day, this is a great time to take an analysis of what worked and did not work during the holiday season. No one is perfect when it comes to dating. The purpose of this analysis is to allow for honest conversation, healing and important decisions if needed. Instead of making the same mistakes over and over again, we can take a moment to apply what we have learned and grow into our very best version of ourselves. So here are some way to take analysis.

  1. How do you feel? It is okay to be honest. If you are joyful, disappointed, confused or angry, say so. The worst thing you can do is bottle up your feelings. Be honest about how you feel and do it in a calm manner. This brings me to my next point.
  2. Confront in Love: If you need to talk to or confront someone, do it in love. The worst time to have a serious conversation is when you or the other party is tired, emotional or sick. You should do your confrontation when you are both up to it. Text messaging is not a confrontation. Your confrontation should be done in person if possible. Remember you love this person. If you are confronting yourself, you love yourself.
  3. Still tired? The holidays may have wiped you out. It is okay to take some time for yourself to rest and relax. You can do a lot of things to recover rest as well as rejuvenate yourself. It may take weeks to recover from a tiresome time in our lives.
  4. Prioritize yourself: You should always be a priority. Sometimes we can be so focused on other people, we forget we need to pour into ourselves. It is okay for you to schedule time for yourself. In addition to my devotional and prayer time, I set aside time for working out. I cannot be interrupted during those times. I need to have a space that is for only me. You should do the same.
  5. Healing from heartbreak: You maybe experiencing grief from the loss of a relationship, loved one or friend, job, business, dream and more. I am sorry to hear about your loss.  I hope you will take this time to heal and reflect. It is okay if you are not ready to resume your normal activities. It is okay to cry and express your true feelings.
  6. Create a safe place: Your safe place should be a place where you can go and be your true self. It could be your therapist’s couch, your church small group, your best friend’s house, your mate’s shoulder and more. You cannot be strong all the time. It is okay for you to express yourself without judgement.
  7. Love is beautiful: It is okay for you to fall in love. You deserve to be loved and cherished. If there is someone who loves you and you love them, congratulations. Love is hard work but in the end it is worth it. Enjoy the butterflies, all the milestones, the extended smiles and more. You should never apologize for being in love.
  8. Enjoy the journey: Wherever you are in your journey, enjoy it. Take life one moment at a time and do not punish yourself over and over again because of mistakes. Tomorrow, is a new day and this is a new year. Let us not live in the regret of yesterday when we can enjoy the harvest of the present and future. I wish you nothing less than the best.

Published by Ada Orie

I am a Nigerian-American Christian woman based in Baltimore who writes about Christianity, dating, food, friendships and more. My goal is to provide a free and safe place where people can express themselves while learning from one another. Thank you for checking out my blog. I look forward to learning from you.

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