Dating Untangled: My Story and Seven First Date Don’ts


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Are you preparing for your first date? You and your date have never met face to face so there maybe nerves and excitement. No matter how excited you maybe do not lose your common sense. You are the prize. There is no reason for you to have basement level standards or excuse things that are unacceptable. I will share my story and then we can look at the list below.

Years ago, I talked to someone for a while via texts and instant messaging 90% of the time and phone calls the other 10%. We had our first date scheduled. I was about to make a 40 minute drive to meet my date when I got a text that my date was canceling due to becoming sick. Looking back, he did this few more times and I did not notice the red flags. He was not worth my time. It took some time but I eventually pruned him out of my life.  I believe bad experiences help us to make better decisions in the future. Also, pruning is needed to remove people, places and things that are taking up room for what you really deserve.

  1. If your date is extremely late or doesn’t show up, that is a red flag.  When someone or something is a priority, you do not waste time. You show up early and plan ahead. A first date is like a first interview, it is your time to make a first impression. If your date is late (with no reasonable excuse like an emergency beyond their control) or does not even show up without a call, I would not schedule a second chance.
  2. Fast Food is not an option. Fast food is just that fast. You should at least be eating with silverware like at a Panera Bread, Outback Steakhouse or the like. How can get to know someone over a meal that is quick? If your date is trying to take you out to fast food and that rubs you the wrong way, say so. If you have no problem with that, say that also. Also there is not much privacy. If you have been in a relationship or friendship with someone for a long period of time, I am all about fast food.
  3. Limit your alcohol. How can your date get to know you if you are spending all your time at the bar or masking symptoms of having too much to drink? Being drunk or tipsy is not attractive and is actually dangerous. You could be putting yourself in a bad situation of not being able to drive or worse. Use wisdom and avoid or limit alcohol.
  4. Put down the phone. Why are you talking to everyone on social media and texting a play by play of your evening but refuse to talk to the person sitting in front of you? Not only is it rude but is shows your priorities. How will you get to know someone if you cannot engage with them in conversation or even make eye contact?
  5. Are you reading a newspaper, magazine or book? Can you imagine in the middle of your meal someone pulls out something to read? That is not only rude but makes no sense. So if things are no going well, say so but pulling our something to read is not acceptable.
  6. Don’t Overspend. If you cannot afford to eat at a five star restaurant, do not suggest it to your date. You should not go broke trying to impress your date. You still will have bills and other obligations after the date. Try going to lunch or using Groupon or LivingSocial for restaurant deals.  Also, a lot of restaurant have deals.
  7. Oversharing. This is your very first date. You do not to share your entire life story on day one. You are getting to know one another so the details can be shared over time.

Dating is fun as long as both parties are honest and upfront about their intentions and motives. If someone is not a good fit, take a break and get back into the game. You are the prize.

Published by Ada Orie

I am a Nigerian-American Christian woman based in Baltimore who writes about Christianity, dating, food, friendships and more. My goal is to provide a free and safe place where people can express themselves while learning from one another. Thank you for checking out my blog. I look forward to learning from you.

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