Dating Untangled: Is it a Date?

photography of couple holding hands
Photo by bruce mars on

Summer is finally here with longer days and stunning weather minus heat and humidity.(Thank God for air conditioning!)  So your crush asks you out to a meal and you are beyond excited. Before you start picking your bridal party and wedding colors, let’s find out if this is really a date. I know many people (myself included) who have been invited out to a meal realize after the fact it was not a date. So let us dig a little deeperand this series will be continued.

  1. Why are you sharing a meal? Are you and your potential date sharing a meal to connect on a personal level or are you talking about work or something that is not personal? If you are connecting on a more personal level, your date maybe the  start to a friendship or something more. If you are meeting to talk about a hobby, organization or work,  this meal maybe just an extension of that organization or job.
  2. What is your marital status? If you are in a relationship and have not officially separated, you need to let your potential date know ASAP. You should allow the other party to decide if they want to wait for your official separation. Telling your potential date you are single when you not is unfair. If you know someone is married or other wise committed, do not pursue the person. How would you feel if someone was chasing after your mate? An innocent meal can become a full-blown affair which will  hurt other people.
  3. Are you emotionally available? So you may be officially single but have you healed from your previous relationships? Any future mate should not be punished for any unresolved feelings you have from a previous relationship. If you are not ready to hit the dating scene, it is okay, Give yourself time to heal.
  4. Be Honest! If you know you are not ready to be in a relationship or you are only eating a meal for platonic reasons, please say so. Leading someone on or wasting time is wrong. There is too much life to live to waste time that you cannot get back.
  5. Coworker caution. You and your coworkers are together because your company pays you to be there. If you volunteer at an organization, it is because you believe in the mission of the organization. In order to build an authentic friendship or relationship with someone, you have to spend time with that person when you are not on the clock. If someone only wants to talk to you or meet you when they are on the clock, you are nothing more than coworkers. Friendships and relationships involve sacrifice of time.

So ask the necessary questions so that your meal can be enjoyed or you can decide to move on to a better oppotunity. This series will be continued.

Published by Ada Orie

I am a Nigerian-American Christian woman based in Baltimore who writes about Christianity, dating, food, friendships and more. My goal is to provide a free and safe place where people can express themselves while learning from one another. Thank you for checking out my blog. I look forward to learning from you.

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